Hi all,

I have had a hard day, My husband and I took our 11 year old cat Magellen to the vet to recheck a growth that was found two weeks ago. The news was bad, the growth is 2X what it was. it was about the size of a fist. because of test we did two weeks ago the vet thinks it is stomach cancer. Today she said we have 4 to 6 weeks at most. I know he was sick but I thought we would have more time, I am in shock, and not writing very well.

Thank you for letting me rant and babble
Antonia

I'm so sorry, Antonia. That is a devastating diagnosis. I hope you know that you can come here and share your feelings as often as you need to do so. Many of us have been in a similar place and all of us understand how hard it is to face the passing of a loved one.

Hugs
Marion

I am so very sorry. I know what it is like to get a horrible diagnosis. Your life is suddenly and dramatically changed forever.

My Bear was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure just before his first birthday. We had 7 months of me thinking I had a normal puppy, enjoying our life then the bottom fell out when he got sick with Garardia (sp? - he was forever finding mud puddles to drink out of) and his heart problem was discovered. Our lives changed but not all for the worse. I learned to cherish our moments together and I never took one second for granted.

Cherish your time too. Soak it up and try (although its almost impossible) not to think of all the negative. Remember to laugh and smile, be happy. That will go a long way in helping your Magellen.

I will keep you in my prayers. Please come back here to keep us updated. Writing about your emotion/feelings helps get them out so you can focus on the good stuff.
We are here for you.

Many hugs!
Lisa

Antonia, I'm so very sorry. I know how very hard it is knowing that you're losing your best bud. It really can eat at you, but try to enjoy the time that you have. The wonderful thing is that Magellan has no idea what's going on.. so all the love you can lavish will really make a positive difference for him.

I lost my Buddy (cat) almost five years ago now. I thought he was in perfect health, and worked late one night. I came home to find him curled up on the living room floor, gone. It broke my heart-- to not be there with him, to not even know he was sick (autopsy showed nothing, so the vet suspected a stroke, which unfortunately showed no signs), and to not be able to say goodbye.

As hard as it is to say the slow goodbye (I have a 14 and a half year old dog who is having some troubles) I am thankful every day when his big ears perk up and he gives me slurps. It's hard, but every day I tell him how much he means to me and how thankful I am to have him in my life. I know the time will come to say goodbye and I'm all choked up even thinking about it, but I work hard to focus on the good and enjoy the time.

My thoughts are with you and Magellan!
Sam (ps- I love his name!!)

Thank you for your replay and support. All night I kept thinking I wish I had more pictures of Magellen, when he was a small kitten. My husband has had him since he was 4 weeks old. a few were taken but most lost in the moving from San Jose, CA to the Albany area in New York. Magellen was one of seven in his litter all black so it is hard to tell which is which in a group shot. He got his name because he was the first in the litter to try running out the door. He lived up to his name by being the only one of the four cats from his litter that my husband kept (soft heart) to run for the door here in New York. If you have little ones take more pictures and label them. You do not want to be like me 11 years latter crying at night with no baby pictures.

Antonia

Thank you for sharing, and what a truly appropriate name! What a funny way to earn it! It's funny you say that, as I realized not too long ago that I have almost no kitten pictures of my little angel. I found one, but that's it! I have a lot of pics of all of them now, and I'll always be thankful. It's great advice .. though I'm sure you'll always have a clear picture of him in your heart.

Antonia, I'm sorry. That diagnosis is like a huge kick in the heart, isn't it?

I've added Magellen to the SN list and you and your husband to the HN list as well. We all know the desperate need to hold back the hands of the clock that you're feeling right now, and it leaves us feeling so helpless and angry, doesn't it?

Yet, hard (impossible!!) as it is to succeed at, do try not to let what must happen in the future (and is is in the future, not the present) darken the time that is Now, okay? Share lots of cuddles, treats and conversations, take piles of pictures and just try to concentrate on the precious Jewel Mmemories that you can make, okay?

Gentle huggles and prayers

Marf

Marf,

I have my camera at the ready, but I think that the pictures that I will treasure will be the ones that he is healthily, the way I hope that I can remember him in my heart and mind.

What has me concerned at the moment it he has gotten an upper respiratory infection and has stopped eating. The past two days he has been hiding in our bedroom closet. None of our other cats are sick with upper respiratory, we have no clue were it came from.

I will try to take your advice to stay in the moment and not think about what the future will bring. Some times the future can feel overwhelming

Antonia

So sorry for the grave news about Magellen's health. Your life really is "on hold" in these situations. Please do try to enjoy every second you have with Magellen, and know that you have given him a wonderful life. Perhaps his immune system and entire body are run down by this disease, explaining why the others are not sick with it. Be sure to take care of you right now, and the other furkids, as they need you. Force yourself to stay actively engaged with them, and it will help you all to get through this tough period in your lives.

Our family had a very sad day yesterday, we had to let Magellen go.  His cancer had taken over his body in six short weeks, he had not eaten by himself in at all in over a week( we were feeding him every two to three hours for almost a month, but he was still eating his favorites on his own)and his legs were starting to fail him and despite being on pain medication he was still in pain.  I feel like I have a huge hole in my heart.

Please add him to the bridge list,  He was born 9-97 and passed 7-7-09 at 3:00 PM.

Antonia

I am so sorry for your loss. Magellan is now free of pain and suffering and whole and frolicking at the Bridge awaiting you. How lucky he was to have a loving mom who cared so deeply. I am sure he "brags" to all the others how wonderful and caring you were.

Prayers to you,

 

MaryLou

I'm so sorry, Antonia. Even though this wasn't unexpected I know it still hurts, and will for some time to come. That hole in your heart will heal, though, and in its place will be all the many happy memories you have stored up during your many years with him. As unlikely as it seems right now, those memories will be a comfort to you soon, and a source of joy.

I hope you'll soon be able to picture Magellen as he is now, his health and youth restored and playing happily with the other cats in the catnip patch at Rainbow Bridge.

I'm sure Marg will add him to the Bridge list, and candles will glow brightly on Monday evening in his honor.

Hugs,

Marion

 

Antonia, I'm terribly sorry that your Bonus Time with Magellen was cut so short.  Your home and heart will feel very un-home-like right now. 

There are no words that anyone can say to stop the pain, or to make the empty moments full again.  The only words that have any meaning right now are these: I'm sorry; We understand the pain and emptiness of your world and heart; Our shoulders are here to lean on as we walk this hurtful road beside you; We don't know exactly what your feelings are, but we've known our own emptiness and pain when saying "goodbye".

I've moved Magellen to the Bridgelist for you with many prayers.  Would you like me to add you and your husband to the Human Needs list?  I'd be glad to do that if you wish.

Very gentle huggles and many prayers

Marf 

Antonia,

I am so very sorry for your loss. Magellan put up a good fight, and as hard as it is to loose him, there is no greater love that you can show then to end a loved one's pain. Especially knowing what a hole in your heart it is leaving.  we're grying along with you, and please do reach out to us when you need us. We understand.

Sad hugs,

Sam

(Antonia, the above message is from Sam Glauser who has been unable to post on the web site.)

Hi all

Thank you for your kind words and support,  It has meant at lot to me.  As most of you know having to help a beloved animal die is not easy.  I know all last week that it was time, but my husband, would not let go.  It was very difficult trying to get him to see that no matter what we did our Magellen, was getting worse and worse by the day and clearly in pain. This cancer was like wildfire.  I was on the edge of tears all week, and my husband the optimist just kept trying to will him to get better with tender loving care.  I wish with all my heart that that was all it took,The whole thing has exhausted me.

On a brighter note, as many people that share their homes with cats know that they often eat flowers and chew on the leaves.  In my house I rarely have flowers inside, but several friends and family sent them after we lost Magellen, so I put them around the box with his ashes.  The cats have not touched Magellen's flowers and three of them have spent considerable time sleeping and resting by the ashes.  Magellen is in a small cherry box with a picture of him when he was healthy.  I think they know it is him, but my mother thinks that the cats might recognize his picture.  What do you all think?

I miss my boy so so much

Antonia