I didn't want to appear inconsiderate. :)
And you aren't inconsiderate, Ana. (s) I have discovered, though, that when I'm grieving for a loved one that I'm somehow super-sensitive to how others look at me.... you know, "Does it look as if I'm thinking too much of Marg and not enough of others and their feeling?" Maybe that happens because we've been told too often "Other people have their own problems so don't inflict ours on them". Did you hear that kind of thing while you were growing up? I know I did.
I'm so glad that you found the Candle People and the freedom of PHS. It welcomes us as we are, without judging, or without inspecting each word or thought. Instead they're accepted (along with us) as valid, valued and important. On this forum that doesn't apply in any way. (s) Please don't feel that you have to weigh your feelings before expressing them, okay?
Huggles and prayers
Marf
Thanks again ... I actually didn't hear that (at least from family) when I was growing up--they've been very supportive--so I don't know where I got that notion. :) I guess it's just because I know that grief is a part of life, and we all do go through it at some point. It's not so much a 'misery loves company' sort of thing as seeing how other people move through grief and finding ways to understand my own grief through their cues. We all lean on and learn from others in the long run.
We all lean on and learn from others in the long run.
That's exactly what we do here! We lean on others and eventually we're able to let others lean on us. Several years ago Marg wrote a wonderful piece describing the circle of healing here. When this group was created I posted that piece in this forum. If you want to read it just go to the end of the message list, where the pages are listed, and click "last."
I don't know where I got that notion.
I doubt if there's any of us who haven't had "notions" from time to time when we're grieving. It does odd things to our minds. I tend to be hypersensitive, and get my feelings hurt much too easily. There's a link in our Resources to an article written by Dr. Margaret Muns DVM, "Grief and Pet Loss." It gives a very good description of the stages almost all of us experience when we lose a loved one. I've found it helpful to read that when I've had a loss just to remind myself that my feelings are normal and to be expected. You might want to take a look at it too.
Hugs
Marion
Hello Ana,
I am so sorry for your loss of Buster. I haven't logged back on here in a little while. I hope you are doing ok. I spent the last couple of weeks gathering photos of Pearl and thinking of happy memories. The photos reinforced to me that she was happy and had a happy life with love and the companions of feline playmates. I got a picture frame pendant and am wearing her photo around my neck so she is with me all day. We also received her cremains and her beautiful pink urn. Having her back home was also comforting. I'm sure that Buster knows how much he was/is loved and missed. Maybe putting together some photos of Buster can be theraputic for you too to remember the happy times you shared. God Bless you and take care of yourself during this sad time.
- Diana
Thank you, Diana. I'm glad you got Pearl's cremains and have those trinkets and memories of her. The picture frame pendant sounds like a good idea.
I am waiting for Buster's ashes. I know he had a great life with me; I am still just dealing with the shock of him being gone, and the hole he leaves behind--I just want to rub his belly. :(
Pearl sounds like she had a great home and companions. Couldn't have had better, and isn't that what we hope for, for our furry friends?
Thanks again ~ A