Meeerrrruuppp Special Agent Lucky Pickle,
You are very smart! That's a very good idea. Surely they won't see YOU sitting there looking like a pumpkin! And maybe Special Agent Nanners can bug you and the phone and we can listen to the recordings.
That was very clever of you to find those Mainely Coon kiddens in Virginia Beach. Hmmmmm.....that's very curious, very curious indeed. I wonder if more than one something is going on here. Let me see, what did Moommy say on the phone? "One is red and one is redish tan and black." And the other thing she said was that they would be here the week after Christmas. Hmmmmm....and yes, Moommy did say she was allergic to fleas, but!...she's allergic to horses and cats, too.
So, we have a partial description and a time frame. And a bed too small for humans and too big for kiddens, Hmmmmmmm....and a slick box and two books.
I think we need to have a Campfire like on NCIS! Who's coming?
Yer furiend,
Secret Special Agent Tu and Secret Special Agent Smokey
(Ebony said she didn't need to be a secret agent because she already knows what's going on but won't tell) :-O
Mew mew Tu (and Mokey)
Ebunny KNOWS??? I think we'll have to capture her and torture her until she tells us!
Or if that's too mean (your moomy and daddyman might not approve) we could be sneaky. I can ask Elfy to wheedle the secret out of her. After all, she is his HeartMummy and would do anything for him. For example, if he told her that a Big Dog was going to eat him up if she didn't tell him the secret, I bet she'd tell.
What do you think?
Lucky P, Special Agent's Assistant
P.S. Why do we need a campfire?
Mew Lucky
Is not a real campfire, just an expression to sit around and brainstorm tossing out ideas and theories. Okay, so I am now fairly certain they are getting a wriggling squirming whining puppy. But what kind of puppy?
Tu, What does your gut say?
Special Agent Nanners
IIIIEEEEEEeeee HALP, HALP HALP!!!! DA BOYKIDDENS AMZ CHAZINK ME.............zzoooooooommm, ziigzaaaggg....sccreeeeeeeeeeeeeeech, thump! Zzzzzoooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmm...
whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh.......ziiiiiiiig,zaaaaaaaaaaag...HALP! DEY AMZ RIIT ON MI BERY OWN TAIL...........................................eeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrccchhhh.......................thump! GO AWAY! ME WUWL NUT TEWL...ME WUWL NUT TEWL! ME AMZ SWORN 2 SEKRECEE! ZZZZzzzoooo
ooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....skreeeech, SLAM! Pant! Pant! Pant! Pant!
(sigh) mewuwlnuttewlmewuwlnuttewlmewuwlnuttewl
Come on Ebony, open the door, we won't hurt you, we just want you to tell us what Moommy and Daddyman are up to.
Yeah Ebnee...Mokey jesh wanz 2 no wad Mokey's Moommy an Mokey's Daddyman amz up 2. Mokey nut hurt Mokey's sisser, Ebnee
Go awae...me amz nut gonna tewl U. Ish uh sekret! Don't U no wad uh sekret amz? (pant, pant)
Moooooooooommmmmyyyy, Daaaddddddyyyyymmmmaaaannnn, da boykiddens amz chasink meeee!
Oh no! We're in for it now Smokey. Lets go hide under the couch. I think we're going to have to enlist some help to get the information out of her. My guts tells me she's going to be tough to break.
Meeeeeeeeeewwww HeartMummy?
What are you doing? What's the matter? Why are your brothers and my brother chasing you? Are they being mean? Sometimes my brother Lucky is mean to me too.
Now, let's curl up together in this big soft chair and you can lick my fur and tell me some stories. Like the one about when the Old TIme cats of Legend all took a trip to Paris and climbed up the big Tower or the story about the two wriggling squirming whining animals coming to your house.
Baby HeartBoy Elfy, who is very cute and snuggly and adorable and sweet but who might have a tantrum if his HeartMummy doesn't tell him the right stories
(Oh, he's goooooood!)
Mm dun gots one ob dem leeld brats...er..ah I means...liddle kitters hair at Sophia's house.
It ware in a bad place and she brung him home.
The kitten's name is Solomon and he is black with a leddle white on his chest and he is 8 weeks young
:-O :-| :-\ Hmmmmm.......
Maow my precious liddle Heartkiddenboy EeeEelEphEee,
Ar demz boycattys skerrink mi shweet liddel kiddenboy? Du nut U bea uhphraid. Dey wuwl nut hert u'r HeartMoommy. Me wuwl tewl U uh shtory...
Kom on naow...kom up heer an shnuggle kloz an let me worsh u'r fase an eelz an poot u'r liddle haid riit doun on mi tummy...dat's riit. Otay...U awl nize an, an kumphy? Otay...heer goz...
See...wonz uhpun uh tiim deir was uh......
SOPHIA! HI! MAOW! WAAR HABV U BEND? ISH BEND SECH UH LOONG TIIM! U mush kum an seddel doun wif usn an lesh kechup on awl datz bend goink on wif U an u'r famblee an, an alla usn heer onna 4um.
Dish amz mi liddel HeartKiddenBoy EeeEelEphEee. EeeEelEphEee, sae Maow 2 AuntieSophia da MoobieShtarMountieBorderCollieDogger. Herz uh niz dogger an, an wuwl nut eber hert U. EeeEelEphEee wers pikt awt beye AngelScruppy 4 AuntieJudyMama 2 lub, an, an AngelGunner an, an me amz himz HeartParents. Aint himz so hamsum?
An, an U habv uh mew kidden 2, U sae? Tewl usn awl bout u'r mew kidden. U sayd ish blaak wif uh liddel wiit lokit liik me an EeeEelEphEee? Me imaginez ish so preshuz. So tewl usn awl bout wad U ben doink.
(Sophia begins to talk, and talks and talks...........
The morning brings breakfast finished and the boys in persuit of Ebony again...
Noooooooooo....leeb me uhloon! Me wuwl nut tewl U....nut eber! gallump, gallump................eeeeeeeee,
eeeerrrrrrrrrroooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww......zzzzzzzzzzzoooooooooooooooommmmmmmm, gallump....thump, slippin and slidin and and...
Ah HA! WE GOTCHA!
NO! LEMME GO! ME WUWL NUT KOOPER8 WIF U @ AWL! MI LIPZ AMZ SEELT! MOOOOOOMMMMMY!
HAWLP!
You can't get Moommy and Daddyman to help you, now, cause they are out with the horsies. HaHa...you have to answer our questions or we'll lick your hairfur backwards until you do!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO...NOT THAT! HAWLP! HAWLP! SUMBUDEE HAWLP ME!
Nobudeez gonnna hewlp Mokey's sisser, Ebnee, naow, Ebnee. Mokey's sisser is at Mokey's mercy. Mokey's brother, Tu, an Mokey, an Mokey's furiends, Lucky Pickle and Calvie and all the rest are going to taak turns holting Mokey's sisser, Ebnee down, an licking Mokey's sisser, Ebnee's hairfurs backwards until Mokey's sisser, Ebnee mews. Yup dats what we are going to do.
Come on Ebony...give it up. What are Moommy and Daddy up to. Make it easy on yourself. You know if we lick your hairfur backwards, sparks are going to fly! Just tell us what we want to know and no more evading the questions. Okay?
:-o No...me wuwl neber gibe awae Moommy's an Daddyman's sekrit. Moommy trushted me when hers said, "Ebony, Me amz gonna tewl U uh liddle sekrit...U'r Nanny wanz sum phleez pantz an, an shirts 4 Christmas an U must hewlp me fiin some, bot du nut tewl eenybudy kuz ish uh surprize." Uh, uh, ohh noo....ME TOLT IT! OH NO! ME TOLT IT! SEE WHAT U MAKT ME DU! U MAKT ME BRAAK MOOMMY"S KOMPHIDINZ! Oh me amz so uhshamt. :.-(
What? :-O That is the sekret? That's the sekret you've been guarding all this time? Hmmmm...I don't think that the big secret that they are keeping. Why would they have to go to Virginia Beach about that?
Bot dat's awl da sekrets me nos. (a tear eskapink herz I) An me brokt mi promise. :.-(
That's okay Ebony...we'll keep your sekret. I think there's a bigger secret that even you don't know about.
(great big sigh) :-\ So much for getting anything out of Ebony....
(Ebony hides her face and grins) ;-)
mew ebony
I wants to see you in interrigation right now-right-now-RightNow! (tries to smack paw down on desk forcefully, but hairy toes prevent any noise). Hrmph!
Would you like some water Ebony? Good, you don't want to get dehydrated. During the other Agent's questionable interrogation methods-did they hurt you by the way? No? That's good. You let slip that your mom and daddy were going to by a set of fleas for your nana. During earlier questioning you stated your mom was allergic to fleas! So would you have us believe that your mom would knowingly go in search of fleas for a family member when she is allergic to fleas? She would risk her very health on a gift of fleas? Am I supposed to believe that Ebony? I think you know much more than you are telling. Maybe I should call back the other agents and have them question you again. Maybe you will talk better to them than me. Maybe their backwards fur licking will get the truth out of you. If not, there is always tickling, they're good at that! Did I mention the litterbox is out of order? I'll get the other agents...
flips tail poofily on her way out interrogation room 1
Ebony, realizing that the rapidly drunk water has gone straight to her bladder has to go potty, but where? And the chasing, backwards fur licking, possibly tickling Special Agents will be returning
Meeeeeeeeeewwww!
What are you doing to my Heart Mummy??? Are you hurting her? Are you being mean to her? You're not supposed to do that. Mummy told me that we have to be nice to each other.
The litter box is broken and Heart Mumy has to pee and someone is going to come and tickle her and lick her fur the wrong way. That is JUST WRONG!!!
OK, time to be FIERCE, like Lucky.
How come nobody is taking any notice of me?
Wait a minute? Is that a toy mousie over there? Pounce! Play! Wriggle! Chomp! Kick. This is FUN!!!
Oh, here are some snacks. Crunch crunch crunch. Yummy!
Maybe it's time for a little nap. Snnnzzzzzz.
Elfzzzzzzz
Maow HeartKidden EeeEelEphEee,
Ish Otay, mi shweet liddel Heartboykidden. U'r HeartMoommy amz otay. Nobudee amz hertink me. Du nut let demz kiddenz shkeer U.
See, dey 4git dat me washes EnCeeEyeEsh wif Moommy 2. :-D So me noz awl deir mephodz ob gainink imphormashun.
Yer HeartMoommy,
Ebony Whetsel (Sorree Nanners) ;-)
Meeerrruuupp everybody,
This is SSA Tu,
There is a new development in the mysterious goings on here....
Today, Moommy and Daddyman were outside scooping up horsie poops in the pasture, (while we were inside interrogating Ebony) and a big strange scary man drove his pick up truckmonster into our drive way. He got out and Moommy got off of the tractor monster an she and Daddyman woked to the big strange scary man and shook hands with him and then the big strange scary man started talking to Moommy and Daddyman and showing them pictures and writing on paper and looking all over the NuFarmPlaz and then they were standing next to the house and still talking.
Well, they didn't see that I was sitting at the window watching them and I could hear a little bit of what they were saying. I heard Moommy say "big", and "ideally, the whole property, but ideal and real might not be the same", and I heard, "reddish tan and black" again, and "invisible".
Hmmmm...invisible. You think some Secret Special Agents are bringing some captive reddish tan and black aliens that can make themselves invisible, to the NuFarmPlaz after Christmas for interrogation?
This just gets weirder and weirder.
The big scary and strange man left some papers with Moommy and Daddyman that they promptly put away so we could not see them. Wonder if they were orders from their secret agent director or something.
Working under cover...
Secret Special Agent Tu
Oh Rats!
Don't you think I sounded a little bit like Special Agent Gibbs? Just a leeeetle bit? Except for the pounding my paw on the desk thing that did not work out at all...How about my hair color?
Darn!!!!
Goes off to build a boat in her basement...
Maow Sabannanananah!
Oh bot U dit! An, an u'r kulorink amz perfik. U jesh got 2 werk on da shtaar uh liddle bit moor. ;-)
Um...kin me go sailink wif U on u'r bote wen ish phinisht? :-D
Yer teezee furiend,
Berymush shpeshul agint Ebony Whetsel wif blaak hairfurs ;-)